Basic Accounts
As we noted in our last News post, as of today users will be able to downgrade their account to Basic through the Manage Account page. In addition, visitors who are not logged in to LiveJournal will now be seeing ads on Basic accounts and communities; the experience of logged-in users will not change.

Paid Account Sale
We are having a paid account sale starting today through September 30, 2008. During that period, you can purchase a 12 month block of paid time and receive a 20% discount – this paid time can be added to any account, or purchased as a gift for your favorite LJ-friend. For full details, see our Paid Account Sale page.

Announcing lj_advisory
We are pleased to announce the creation of the lj_advisory community, set up so you can find news and information related to the activities of the Advisory Board. We recognize that it has taken us a while to get this community up and running, and that has caused some frustration. From now on, we will post topics which will be discussed by the Advisory Board prior to the date of the meeting and summaries of meetings after they occur. Throughout the year, the Advisory Board may also post requests for opinions on topics which may be discussed at future meetings. This is the official community for communication with the Advisory Board – comments will be read by Advisory Board members who will respond as they feel appropriate.

RTE + Opera and Safari = <3
RTE stands for Rich Text Editor, which is the default method of posting entries from the Post an Entry page. Our Rich Text Editor is based on the open-source FCKeditor code. It allows you to make links or LiveJournal user tags, insert photos or videos, and format your entries without needing to know HTML. That is, unless you use Opera or Safari as a browser, in which case you couldn't use the RTE.

That will be changing today. We are pleased to announce that the RTE has been upgraded to the latest version of the FCK code, which includes support for Opera and Safari! In addition, many of the bugs in the old version have been fixed. If you've been using RTE, you will most likely need to clear your browser's cache in order to use the new version.

<strike> vs. <b>
Last year we changed the visual display of deleted and suspended usernames from a line through the username to a bold font. This had the effect of making the name unclickable - which meant that no one could easily determine whether the username had been deleted or suspended. We've reversed this display, returning deleted and suspended usernames to a struck-through and clickable state.

Flash Fiction Contest Update
The deadline to submit your flash fiction entry to "Quick Tales," LiveJournal's partnership with Caferati in India is fast approaching. Users who wish to find out more about this exciting contest should take a look at our india_writing community. Be quick! Entries must be received by midnight, September 7th, 2008 and the contest is open to all who have a mailing address in India, regardless of where they currently reside or citizenship.

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Don't mind me, I am just jumping on the Julie Moult is an idiot bandwagon.

PROTIP : If you do not know what Googlebombing is then it is best not to write a report about Googlebombing in the Daily Fail.

Currently reading an old book entitled Hollywood Babylon. Dealing with the very naughty behaviour of the movies starts in the 1920s and 30s. I'm almost shocked in parts! They certainly were hedonists of the highest calibre, and make us look like kindergarden fodder really! Some stunning pix too :)

High tailed in to London last night, picking up boo's new cycling helmet en route. Quite weird going in to town at 5-5.30, just as the hordes are coming out. 

I had planned on doing a bit of shopping, but the traffic was so dire in Oxford Street, I managed to be half an hour late and still not do any shopping at all. Boo hoo :(

Met up with Alexandraa and Caprycorn in a bar near Selfridges and helped them out with a couple of bottles of crisp, chilled rose. Jolly nice it was too. First time I've met Capry, and found her to be a warm, honest and very down to earth wumman, who didn't mind (I think!!!!) me being incredibly nosey and asking about her poly arrangements. I always think it's better to be up front and ask the questions, rather than make assumptions based on very few facts. Poly isn't for me, not on a full-time basis anyway, but it's interesting to hear how it works in a real-life sitch.

When I got home, I managed an hour's worth of chat with foxxx, before adding another hour with boo, so a very conversation-y day all in all.

I've managed to wake up early, which I'm not too chuffed about. Back to bed now, hopefully for more sleep n a cuddle.

Only downer is that I really don't think my ankle is improving. I had less trouble with a broken foot!

Saw this tonight...
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23545406-details/100 squatters evicted from council estate opposite £1m homes/article.do
this is literally next door to where my mum lives, she has been complaining about them for months, she couldn't leave her windows open because they had drum and bass parties that went on for up to 24 hours at a time, they were drug dealing, fighting, bonfires and just all associated insane shit, all summer long.
She called the Police so many times, but was told there was nothing they could do. There were surveillance helicopters overhead all the time too.
She will be glad they are gone, but it is all so stupid, they didn't move there and live a peaceful life, they trashed and partied the place into the ground, I think it will be demolished now.
I don't think the houses there are quite million quiders though, although, not far off, maybe the odd one or two are.
Mum lives in a lovely sheltered housing place in a gorgeous Edwardian house, right next door to this lot, and my old convent school on the other side!
 
They were the type of people nobody would want to live next door too, it makes me sick to read them say the were genuine homeless people,  there maybe some, but the people I saw there chose to live that way, they wanted an alternative lifestyle, and inflicted it on their neighbours

The good stuff continues.

I spent the bulk of yesterday in the garden, weeding. Managing to fill one of those large green wheelie bins completely! My thighs and back know they've had a bit of exercise! The garden dosn't look vastly different, but it is better. Sat and watched the family of 7 ducks for a while afterwards

Rod managed to find some things to take to the charity shop, without complaining or baulking at the idea. He tidied the shelves up a bit too. I said thank you afterwards, cuz you need to encourage this sort of thing, and he thought I was being sarky, LMAO!!!

Boo did a bloody marvellous chilli con carne, which went down a treat. It was so hot n spicy that I actually drank beer with it, which is most unusual for me. I have the odd shandy on a warm summer's day, but I'm not a beer drinker per se.  Alfie pitched up, and the boys did some Army exercises, whilst I did my roots (yus, it's all glamma!). Then watched 300. That was a hark bark to my yoof in gay clubs, all muscle marys in leather and oil. But a good film!

This morning, much to my delight, I stayed in bed and asleep until 10am!!

He's DIYing the car, which needs a few bits n bobs. We fetched a bumper from a farm in Cuffley this morning. Odd place with lots of "stuff" lying around, including a juke box in the stables.

In to London for a bit of shopping and dwinkies soon. But first, he's doing some calamari :)

Daily Fail puts the fear of god into nice white middle class people by swapping Churchill for Wilberforce in school history lessons..

Honestly, how do they get away with printing such shite? What is so wrong with learning about slavery and Wilberforce? American slavery and Frederick Douglas is on the curriculum so why not British slavery? The comments are something to behold, truly they are;

schools just are not teaching ourchildren the english history - they need to know what went on in the past particularly the 2 world wars, because let us face it - with the leaders like churchill we would be subject to the rigors of ... - oh dear - I am forgetting that we already are it is now called the eu,who want to take away everything that is good about our country.

- shirley, yorkshire, 26/8/2008 13:51

What does that even mean?

What Black history is there to learn about? I would not let my child be included in this lesson.

- James, London, 26/8/2008 13:52

Truly the most disgusting comment I've ever had the misfortune to read.

What?

More social Engineering. Great stuff.

Slavery is not relevant

- Mr Black, London, England, 26/8/2008 14:13

Yes it is! The East India Trading company didn't just deliver tea and fine silks.

I hope it is remembered that the slave trade would not have worked unless their own kind had not captured and sold them for profit. Please make sure all pupils know this.

- J.A.M., East Sussex, 26/8/2008 14:17

Own kind? Do these people actually know what they are saying?

Of course there are the usual shrieks of "PC GAWN MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" and comparisons to people going off to work for the upper classes. The difference is, the servant class were paid and figured they could get a better fucking deal in the factories. Slaves didn't have that choice.

I hate people.

What is so wrong and offensive about teaching kids the worst parts of our past?

You may have to click the link to make it work

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I'm not having a good week. In fact the last fortnight hasn't been wonderful, except for here and there.

This morning I got a parking ticket. Not my fault, I paid the right amount of money and was back long before my ticket would have run out... if the parking machine had even issued me with it!  I paid £3, which is sufficient for 90 minutes and pressed the button to have the ticket issued. The machine made a whirring noise and then chuckled evilly and quietly to itself as it refused to spit out the voucher. I phoned the number on the machine to ask what to do, after all although it says "if machine is out of order park elsewhere", that seems a bit like a scam on the part of Edinburgh council after giving them the money up front for the hire of their parking place for 90 minsl. Luckily I used the MPark feature, which means they should have a record that I did pay, and I reported the machine as faulty before I left the vehicle. Despite me leaving a note on the windscreen explaining the situation, I was ticketed and now have to appeal it.

This morning I opened a cupboard door and had a pack of marshmallows spill out onto the floor, and then knocked over the sugar canister.  

Last night I spilled a full cup of drinking chocolate when the cat jumped up. Luckily most of it missed her and she just has a slightly discoloured paw from a wee splash. I also knocked over a vase of (slightly dead) flowers and had to mop up the water.

I  broke my kitchen clock when accidentally trapping it behind a piece of kitchen furniture and had to sweep up broken glass from the floor.

There's been a smell of rotten cat food, or rotting meat in my house for two days and I can't find where it is coming from.  It permeates the house, insidiously creeping into every room to assault my nostrils. I stuck my fingers through a brand new pair of stockings on Saturday, and later on that same night slipped on a wet floor and landed flat on my back, bruising my side and one foot in the process.

In the past week or two I've lost a knife, a screwdriver and a torch. I've cut my knee and banged my hip. I've eaten a grape that was off and left a foul taste in my mouth and I've annoyed The Boss. I've been stuck in traffic jams - oh yes I've been stuck, many many times. Bloody roadworks, bloody bridge, bloody Edinburgh festival! and been round and round multiple times trying to find parking places, only narrowly failing to run down a batch of pedestrians, but not for want of trying.

I'm not usually this clumsy or accident prone. I feel like phoning up the office and saying "Send me home, I'm not fit to be out in traffic"

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I had a very brief moment where my head was back where it was in my late teens when I considered that it wasnt worth being around.. I wanted to run away from the house stuff, the work stuff and the puppies (I adore them but 2 is taking every bit of strength I have)

Hindsight is a marvellous thing.. 

Im still deeply pondering the fact that when my friend and ex boss committed suicide (sadly) she is basically not missed.. missed in that shes not around but the person she had become through depression and how that effected her personality is not missed. I can see her husband with a weight off his shoulders. The 'burden' so to speak of living with the tears and fights and tanrums, screaming is gone. I miss the person she used to be, not the person of late.

It got me thinking - who would actually miss me if I ran away, just decided to stop dealing with this particular life.

Im not putting my self down I know I have some qualities and can be very loyal and even been known to be a giggle occassionally.

I can feel my brain imploding a little more everyday, I don't like me much at the moment. When I open my eyes in the morning I think shit another day, another day of 12 hours work that is hard slog and not much fun at the moment, puppies who are pushing every button I have trying to control and train them, the dealing with estate agents and solicitors. I've stopped making an effort with friends too... theres not much point. I dont have the time to go visit people and I even bore myself with my tales of misery.

The irony is its all self inflicted - we chose this house and because of the trouble are choosing to move, we chose the puppies, I have the choice to change my job. And as I say to people - we all have choices.. some of them difficult but there's always a choice.

Got the mother in law comming for 2 days tomorrow too.. normally wouldnt bat an eyelid - but everything is a very high mountain at the moment.

Himself is working so hard we hardly see each other.. we manage a meal and brush teeth together.

I think I should leave IC too - we are not involved in any bdsm at the moment - it seems a fraud being on there.

Sigh....

Yesterday's plans went awry!!

We were supposedly getting up early, going to a local boot fair, followed by Notting Hill Carnival. Instead, we stayed in bed giving each other lovely massages, doing naughties and hey presto, it was lunchtime!

We went to another boot fair instead, and got bargains galore. Well, he did, I just replaced my cafetiere for 50p. He managed to get a £80+ Army bergen for a fiver and a £80 torch for 50p, so he was exceedingly happy. Also found some full length waders for two quid in Alfie's size, so the pair of them can wander down the brook together.

Nex we hit Tesco's in WGC and Cheznut for all the marked-down bargain, and filled the fridge and freezer for very few pennies! And joned Tesco's wine tasting panel, for which you get taxis both ways, and paid!!!

All in all, good fun :) 

Caught up with Shani, and my Mum, who was, as I suspected on the defensive over Lucy's GCSE results. Yes, she's got 13 GCSEs, and yes, that is good. But not good enough, for reasons I will go in to in another blog.

Rod did dinner while I tidied up a bit, which turned out to be a bit of  a waste of time, as we managed to make quite a lot of mess later :)))

Alfie came over, and whilst watching Pierepoint and yet more Soldier Soldier videos, we demolished a bottle of red, a bottle of Malibu and numerous cans of lager between the 3 of us. All done whilst having a really good laugh with each other. Ended up sleeping on the blankie cuz I was far too lazy to make the bed at 2.30. Rod either didn't notice or didn't care

I'm feeling really happy. I thought this week was going to be crap, and it hasn't been. We're doing lots and enjoying each other. I just wish it were sunny!

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I'm trying to remember what we've been doing since Thursday. The answer is, quite a lot, but I can't recall it all.

Friday was mostly recovering from the wedding. We went shopping, and I was still wandering around laughing at all and sundry, forgetting what I was supposed to be doing. I'm pretty sure Rod cooked and Alfie came over Friday night, and we messed around and watched a movie, although  can't be 100% sure! At some stage, Rod went out on his bike for a wee while I think.

Saturday we went shopping, and Rod decided to up ladders and play lumberjack. I did of course object, but it's something he's been itching to do for aaaaaages. So, the boys did that and I cooked. 

Saturday night, we went to Smack. A slow start, very slow in fact, but it got busier and more interesting as the night went on, with a few "faces" arriving, and some creative outfits. We were very naughty, as always, and as always, had a good time there. I think Smack is one of the least pretentious, most friendly clubs on the scene today. You always get a warm welcome, you always find fun people to talk to, you always get eye candy and you can basically do what you like, without eyebrows being raised, which is cool. 

Sunday, we were up after just 3-4 hours sleep for him to race his bike over in Essex at the Ford track . It was cold and pissing down, but I dilligently did my cheerleader/photographer bit, and was rewarded with him winning a prime and coming third overall. Not at all bad for a man who's not raced for over a year, and was out clubbing til silly o'clock the night before *beams*

Had a very full and lovely lunch out, accompanied by the tinkling of piano keys, and then some more shopping, and back home for some Army drill! Alfie has a fitness test soon, and boo is training him. I did the really important timing with a stopwatch bit! I'm very proud to say that my old geezer, in spite of having been clubbing the night before, and having just done a 33 mile bike race and being double young Alfie's age, easily won the push ups, sit ups and running.

Rod cooked dinner last night, and we watched Constantine, as reccommended by Merryn. Very good, worth getting hold of a copy, as the effects are brilliant. And then early bed, as we were booth pooped with having done an awful lot over the last few days.

Today...............Notting Hill Carnival! I shall put on my shortest shorts and boogie on down!

But first - back to bed. Nyummmmm

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I’ve been reading the adventures of dk_leathers & Luisa on their isolation experiment. It’s made me think about a number of things. Why do I enjoy a power exchange relationship, why do I enjoy SM, why have I found it upsetting to read some of the blogs in this chain, what do I seek in life, why do some things damage some people but others find it exhilarating? So on and so forth.

I can only talk about my perspective. You can after all watch as much as you want, read as much as you like, but you never truly get inside someone else’s relationship.

What the whole chain of blogs have made very clear to me is what Ds means to me. What I need and want, plus some analysis I went through last year, has resulted in crystallising for me what Ds has done and provides for me. Consequently I think I understand some of my upset and fear regarding DK & Luisa’s recent journey.

The analysis bit highlighted for me issues I have around relationships, fear of rejection, my “attachment disorder”. For those that missed it I blogged about that here -

http://alexandra40.livejournal.com/?skip=180#entry_16146

The Ds counterbalances that for me, gives me that reassurance and safe place to be.

So for me, to consider myself in Luisa’s position last week, actually at times made me feel physically sick. I think Big D has been very aware, whatever the case he has been wonderfully nurturing and caring this week, or maybe I have just been more aware of my own needs and so more aware of how he protects me and makes me feel safe.

So for me this week has made clear my “penchant” (there’s a gross understatement if ever there was one) for Ds, is about my need to feel safe and protected, cared for, held close and important by someone, someone whom I respect deeply and desire passionately. To be kept distant, pushed away or feel unimportant is terribly upsetting to me, presses my great big huge red abandonment button, that’s right there in the centre of my chest.

The SM actually is more about a sexual need, the Ds more about emotional needs. However the SM can underline the power exchange while at the same time it ramps up the erotic responses and takes me to amazing sexual highs. Equally power exchange and control is very much a part and parcel of our sexual activity. Important and gives amazing sexual responses too. For me SM & Ds are intertwined, just as sex and emotions are, well just as sex and emotions can be…. Not necessarily the case of course depending on who you are doing the power exchange and SM with….

So for someone to put herself in the situation Luisa was in last week is actually anathema to me. Terrifying. Too many negative triggers, too many alarm bells. It’s not something I want to have tested, nor a place I would want to go. I can’t imagine there would be any positive benefits to me personally, or indeed Big D. So consequently I’ve thought about it a lot in the way you pick at a scab. Probably not a healthy thing to do, might leave scars, but really can’t help doing it.

For me I know the place I want to wallow in, yet also have to hold back from, is that completely submissive state. Focussed on the pleasure and happiness of my dominant, while knowing the dominant in my life is focussed on me, while at the same time not losing ourselves in the power exchange. And while bizarrely this isolation experiment underlines that in some ways, that complete reliance and mutual need, the need for absolute control - it‘s right there within that experiment, however much it was about distance and coldness too. Nevertheless, the fact that it was about abandonment, lack of emotion, coldness and a harsh control, pressed all my negative triggers. Sirens were ringing in my ears.

So it really has been interesting to read what they are doing, what they have done and how they feel about it now, what they felt at the time. More. More, I need to read more…. What did Luisa think on days 2, 3, 4 & 5??? And now???

Waits patiently…… while tapping fingernails and picking scabs…..