Im back from Eeeeetaly. The holiday was an abject failure. It far surpassed my expectations of holiday horror. I will NEVER EVER EVER again be taking TFH on holiday with me. We were staying on a campsite near Lido do jesolo, hot, sunny, humid, big and just like Butlins......

So far, so not particularly good. The sprog and her friend didnt behave that well. The not greatness started at the airport, when we arrived at 5.30am, only to notice the girls had matching love bites. not littlies either... great big purple monsters. Amie (my friends 16 year old daughter) also had one on her chin. Apparently her boyfriend was drunk and "missed".

The journey involved lots of sitting, waiting, spending money on cold drinks, missed buses and grump. We finally arrived at 7pm :-/

Then, first night they got a warning from the security guards for talking on the way home (at midnight). Apparently talking isnt allowed. Their passes were confiscated, and we were woken up at 8am by the manager to be warned if there was any more "trouble" we would be kicked off site.

Second night, they both got drunk and ended up fighting. With each other. One arrived back at the caravan with a black eye, and the other a swollen bruised black cheek. What they failed to mention was the passes had been confiscated again. We found at 10.30am as we stepped off a ferry in Venice, only for the phone to ring. "MUM, can you come back please??? we have to leave the site by 1pm................"

SCREECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So after seeing a whole 5 minutes of Venice, we headed back, and spent half an hour pleading with Senor Martin, campsite manager and Hitler lookalike. Luckily he took pity as we promised fervently that there would be no more trouble, lots of quiet and strict supervision. Phew.

So the next 3 nights 2 sulky teenagers spent every day and nght with us, not allowed out, no drinking, early nights.

By thursday we allowed them out for 2 hours to the internet cafe. result? they were walking home behind a group of noisy germans, who all had passes confiscated, and they had their passes taken again, despite the fact they had been walking in silence...........so yet again saw us at the main office at 8am pleading to be allowed to stay. Fortunately Senor Martin was off for the day, And Senor Roberto took a shine to me...........

Bleeding hell, it WAS hell.

Nice beach tho, lovely pools, but everything closed on the dot at 11pm, so not very much to do!! Plus it was 80% humidity the whole time and the entire site seemed to be inhabited by Dutch people. Very pleasant, but very unsociable!

It was a relief to get home really,,, after landing at stansted late at midnight, picked up hire car at 1am, and finally landed back here again at 5am.

NEVER AGAIN.

TFH has been on lockdown since we got back. Im so disappointed in her after we'd seen such improvement over the last 6 months.

Tons more to post but it will have to wait.

1, losing weight is fab. My stomach is flat. Sadly my boobs are flatter. Trying on bridal underwear last weekend, i find my usual B cup gapes. Not big to start off with, this is distressing. Even more so to find the A cup size fits :(

i havent been an A cup since i was 14. Now at the age of 39... im an A cup again. How long til aa?? 5 days of salad or 20??

2. There is some pretty piss poor poetry on IC right now. I know. Dont read it. BUT.. cant help it. Its pissiest ever poor too.

3. WHY does a 55 year old woman write a weblog about the fact she has been "bratting"?????
Triple puke

4. Im going on holiday to italy on saturday with my beloved daughter, best mate and best mates beloved 16 year old daughter. Apparently it's going to be raining all week in Venice. Deep joy. Ive fucked up flight times in the quest for a bargain, so we set off from Newcastle at 5.30am... arrive at campsite in venice at 4pm. might have been quicker to drive........

5. Final wedding invite writing coming up. Anyone on friends list who i havent got adresses, please mail me on IC and let me have your adress. Invite to night time to follow.

back soon!! (ish)

have new dress, and it FITS! the last couple of days have seen panicked whizzing round bridal shops. Couldnt find anything i liked. Until tonight. I had to arrange an appointment at the shop as they have a big sale on and are v busy.

So i gave them a description of my ideal dress, arrive, and they have preselected 3 which i might like. 2 are horrid, the 3rd is gorgeous!!!

Try it on, and it fits perfickly!!! (although i cant afford to put on even a single pound- i think the expression is "fits like a glove")

And? Its in the sale, reduced from £899 to £199!!!!

A whole 15 minutes after arriving in the shop, i leave with my brand new dress. Hurrah!!

my dream wedding dress doesnt fit.

It isnt ever going to fit.

I've lost 1 stone 4 lbs, but im just never going to be size 10.

I bit the bullet tonight and tried it on to see whether "hope" was possible.

It isnt. It zips up the back.... and the zip is 3 inches apart from top to bottom. As i cant physically lose any more width from my back, it wont ever zip.

Booger.

9 weeks to go. Back to the drawing board...... Joy

i am sick to death of decorating. Seriously, utterly pissed off with it.

Last weekend saw the front room being sanded and varnished, so all the "stuff" from the front room was boxed up into the back room (im sure these rooms have proper names.....)

Then tuesday and the kitchen fitter arrived to start fitting new kitchen. So the kitchen was boxed up....and put into the back room!! There is barely space to sit, never mind see the telly.
Then first thing tuesday, and the water and electricity were turned off, as the first job was to replace all the electrics. Marvellous... 3 of us sat with nothing to do, no room to do it in, and couldnt even have a coffee. Then i came on my period, but couldnt use the loo as it wouldnt flush... So i ended up going to work in the afternoon to escape, despite being on holiday.

Anyways, the kitchen is nearly finished, tiling and work surfaces left to install tomorrow, then hopefully all the boxes can be unboxed and we can breathe again!! Its absolute chaos!! mess, rubbish, dirt and boxes everywhere you turn, in the hall, bathroom, spare room. Its driving me demented!!

Hopefully it will be a wee bit less chaotic by the weekend as we have guests coiming, then after that need get the wedding arrangements sorted out!! AND FINISH OFF THE PAINTING! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

work- Tuesday saw notices being handed out to all those affected by redundancy. And........out of 9 in our department, 7 got them, and i was one of the 2 that didnt!! On the one hand i felt such an overwhelming sense of relief that i felt sick (yes, money is *that* tight right now). But then immediately afterwards felt ever so guilty for that relief, as 4 members of staff dissolved into tears. One is a single parent, recently separated from partner and only purchased her new flat 3 weeks ago. She hasnt even made a mortgage payment yet. Another is trying to sell her house after splitting up from her husband, and yet another had news last week her husband has been made redundant.... Im not going to start ranting again as im liable to set the keyboard on fire.

home- decorating continues. Does it ever finish?? starting to feel like i live on the Forth road bridge.

K has a couple of job applications in, so fingers crossed he finally gets something that pays him the wage he deserves and is permanent!!

Becky is.....Becky. With 2 GCSE exams loooming next week? She isnt allowed out through the week, so spent every night watching Heroes and Desperate housewives, until tonight when she came in smelling of drink. She reckons she knows "everything" already.......

I disagree. She offered to do my hair and makeup on Wednesday. She had a few wedding "ideas". An hour later my hair was scraped back into a bun thingy, glued down flat with hairspray til it was solid, and hair clipped into lots of intricate curls. I had an orange face with the teen tide mark, blue eyeshadow and thick black eyeliner. All that was missing was gold hoop earrings.

Nor does she know what revsion is.

Weekend- popped over to the Metro centre tonight to change her bridesmaid dress. K managed to completely cock up my wedding colour scheme last weekend lol. Yes i can lol now... but having spent months waving a magazine in his face with a gorgeous chocolate brown thigh length single breast suit and ivory accessories, and having K agree it was luffly? we arrived at the hire shop and he promptly went for black. When i pointed out it wasnt brown.. apparently he never liked the brown, and just liked the style......

I may have looked pale and distressed as the elderly shop assistant kept asking me if i was ok and started patting me on the back.

So, out goes chocolate brown, ivory, pale gold and bronze. In comes black, ivory, mocha and pale pink....... and im not even a bridezilla!! (although it was VERY exciting when our flight tickets arrived today for the honeymoon) :)

Tomorrow, got friends coming to stay YAY. I cant wait!!!! And then sunday night a wedding reception. Its my brother's best mate who is getting married to his wife's best friend. That sounds a bit tangled......it isnt .. i dont think.....

and all that. Today at work in a fit of inspiration (boredom) i actually cleaned out my handbag. Over the years the handbag has gone from little and fashionable to bigger and fashionable and now hovers around big and ugly but very functional and carries EVERYTHING. But everything tends to leave bits and pieces of ick and dust.. so i cleaned it out today.

In doing so i managed to spill a little jar of loose, pink glittery eyeshadow which then billowed up into a big cloud of sparkle, enevloping me entirely before settling... everywhere! And thereafter i spent the rest of the day sparkling away, dusting it out my hair, eyelashes, trying to brush it off clothes and face. It is in files, on my desk, and bits appeared on everywhere and everyone over the course of the day. And yes, it looked very fetching on my boss's beard :-D.

Thank god it's Friday.. other than glitter matters, had an entirely shit week. Last weekend was brilliant, but seems such a distant memory. We managed to get ourselves down to Spank'd last Saturday to meet up with Cait and friends, and what a fabulous night! The venue is brilliant, loads of different rooms, seating, bar, music and space! And it was so, so great to catch up with Joolsy who i havent seen in FAR too long. And then who should turn up but Gigglebox and D, and finally Simply_D!! What a lovely surprise.. i enjoyed myself more than i have done in ages!! And the night was finished off with a half pint of wine... excellent stuff!

But then Sunday morning and i woke up at 7am, shivering and sweating...at the same time. By 8am i was sat in a steaming hot bath, and by 8.30, hanging out the hotel window trying to cool down. We set off home at 10am....unheard of to be awake at that time on a sunday, never mind showing signs of life. And the following 2 days were taken up with snuffling, sweating, coughing and sneezing. Even a sickie on Monday didnt perk me up as i slept most of the day.

Luckily i survived :-D and now finally feeling marginally better... just aswell with a hen night to attend tomorrow night! sadly the hen is very rich and chose the most expensive venue in all Newcastle for a meal, drinks and disco. I have a couple of mini bottles of wine to smuggle in courtesy of the new clean, glittery handbag tho... although i really feel i ought to be beyond smuggling at my age *sigh*

And day time tomorrow, we are off to look at flowers ( i think). Having organised absolutely nothing weddingy much, we suddenly realised that 5 months isnt very long!

It isnt!!! anyone from my f-list, keep 19th sept free (night), and if you could let me have your adresses (those i havent got), please mail. Yeehaaaaaaaaaa :) :) :)

Thought i would treat myself to some new work clothes at lunch time. Sadly not to be. Either M&S make tops for freakish people with dwarf arms, or else i am descended from an orangatang..

Still, managed to splurge on some verrah nice make-up, entirely unsuitable for work.

And almost the end of the week......roll on the weekend!!

bum. our internet has been disconnected as of yesterday after finally binning virgin... but i forgot to book the sky engineer to fit the new wireless router. So we are sans internet on the whole til 21st. NOT great when im on hols this week, do all my banking online, have things to pay for on ebay and post, emails to reply to and thank yous to send. all my work research is generally online and waiting to hear about 2 orders, plus post a cpl of things here and other places............

Have just discovered my palm can pick up next doors network, but its hardly on, and the palm screen so small that big pages, like BANK PAGES and ebay wont load up. And trying to write anything would be best described as laborius.... to say the least. one thin pen, letter by letter on a tiny abc pad....

back next week.. hopefully...

Shali!!! sorry this is a wee bit late. At least it wasnt a month late,,, like Lollys :-/

anyhoo, big fat hugs and see you very soon xx

in other news, i can now recount the entire first chapter of Great Expectaions. And ive not even read it. I rawk :)

got fat club tomorrow,, i can tell. Just spent half an hour rooting through wardrobe for light, summer clothes. Still, its going reasonably weel, 6 pounds lost in 3 weeks. Only another 10 tons to fit into *that* wedding dress.